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TopGolf Van Diaries

TopGolf Van Diaries

Jerrod and Jack, two of TopGolf's finest and established event directors, met up in Houston last week to transport the TopGolf Van out to Austin, TX where the newest TopGolf facility will be opening in the spring of this year. They kept a journal of their journey, and here is what unfolded. Enjoy.

8:47 A.M. - Well, it's time to head to Houston to steal the Marketing Van and bring it to the promised land that is Austin, TX. Jack and I just met at the TG Austin site and are about to head out if he ever gets out of the port-a-potty½must've been a big breakfast.

9:33 A.M. - Only 30 minutes on the road and we've just made our first stop. Ya see, I have a problem with getting really sleepy when I drive long distances (something that I probably should've mentioned to Susan before volunteering for this escapade), so I'm about to show Jack why America is the fattest country in the world by purchasing enough candy to feed a suburban neighborhood at Halloween. Chase it down with a Coke and a Red Bull, and off we go!

9:45 A.M. - Jack and I are knee deep in captivating conversation along the "scenic" drive to Houston (and by "scenic" I mean, nothing to see). He's talking about events in the UK and how they do things and on multiple occasions says, "example X Y Zed"½so I finally have to stop him and ask who the hell "Zed" is½wasn't that the bad guy in one of the old Superman movies?

10:09 A.M. - Things just got awkward when we both reached for the radio volume and our hands touched.

10:28 A.M. - So the sugar has definitely kicked in and I have begun sweating and shaking like a crackhead. At this point, I think Jack is re-thinking his decision to work in the states.

11:14 A.M. - If I hear Jack ask if we're almost there one more time, I'm going to karate chop him in the throat and leave him on the side of the road.

11:15 A.M. - Sorry, that's still the sugar talking.

11:37 A.M. - Jack is now outwardly tired of me asking, "Do you have that in the UK?" I think he reached his boiling point when I asked if they had all different kinds of food. As if Brits only ate Fish and Chips. Sorry, I'm an idiot.

11:41 A.M. - The conversation has now led to an inspiring point of Jack and I discussing how we need to get in shape and keep each other accountable to do so. We are both runners and Jack mentioned that he needs to get some "trainers" so he can start running again. Again I ask, what the hell are "trainers"? Jack replies running shoes. I reply, why don't you just say shoes???

11:43 A.M. - We almost just died after I took an overpass turn at 80 mph in my car. My bad.


12:20 P.M. - I'm touring Jack through the site and he's gotten no less than 20 compliments on his jacket. I don't think my ego can take much more of not being the stylish guy with swag. Time to step my game up.

12:35 P.M. - After yet another compliment on his jacket, Jack just informed me it is a woman's jacket.

12:47 P.M. - We sit down in the main restaurant to fire off a few emails and to grab some lunch. Crazy to see so many people eating in the restaurant at lunch time and the team handling it so well. Props to our bayhost Craig, great personality and great job taking care of us.

12:53 P.M. - I introduce Jack to "Gumbo"½I'm glad we're driving different vehicles though on the way home. It's kinda spicy.

1:30 P.M. - Lunch was great and just got done talking to Scott. In true TopGolf fashion, we're not just getting the van, but loading it with a bunch of other random stuff to take to our site½including Dominic's boots.

1:52 P.M. - Van is packed up and about to drive away when I see that there's no diesel! So I steal Scott's credit card and head to the gas station. This is where I had to educate Jack that we don't call it "Petrol" here in the US. It's either gas or diesel. This comes a day after Jack called me while he was filling up his own car and asked what the 3 versions of petrol were (Regular - Premium btw). So much to teach my friend and vice versa.

2:10 P.M. - Peace out TG Htown! Thanks for the hospitality and the van! And for charging me for my lunch! I'll be expensing that.

3:06 P.M. - Jack is following me in my car while I'm driving the van. For some reason I can't get the AC to work properly so I've now stripped down to my tighty whiteys and am receiving some interesting looks from other cars. Might want to get some disinfectant for whoever drives it next. Just sayin.

3:45 P.M. - We are making a quick stop at an interesting car dealership that only has vintage automobiles and a retro warehouse. Jack is in the market for a ride, so what the heck, let's take a look.

3:57 P.M. - After bartering with the owner, Jack and I have negotiated a trade for an MG and an old Thunderbird straight up for the marketing van!

4:30 P.M. - Pit stop now to get a chocolate dip cone from McDonald's. Yes, I'm 5 years old.

5:01 P.M. - Ah, the joys of American traffic as we are entering back into Austin city limits. At least I've gotten the AC to work at this point and am now fully clothed once again. You're welcome everyone.

5:45 P.M. - Tired of driving all day, we are back at TG Austin and already making use of the van. The construction team is waiting for their paychecks to arrive by courier so we break out the TG bags game and turn on the tube!

6:01 P.M. - Security guard just arrived. Yes we work here officer. I think he likes us because now he's passing around what appears to be an Assault Rifle, letting us hold it. Jack thought it was a mace gun. It wasn't.  It's real. Only in Texas. What a way to finish a great road trip, a game of guns and bags!


Jerrod & Jack!

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