32-year-old Mark Warburton of Chigwell has surprised his wife and child by resigning from his highly-compensated stockbroker position in a bid to become a professional golfer. Warburton’s change of career follows a recent visit to Topgolf, where he successfully defeated his partner and four-year-old son.
“Does beating my pregnant wife and infant son at Topgolf mean I’m the next Tiger Woods?” Warburton asked. “Of course not – Tiger Woods has never beaten them at Topgolf.
“Admittedly, I’ve never played golf on an actual course but I don’t see that being an issue. I assume it can be quite difficult to scoop the ball out of the water when it goes in but if I can master Topgolf, I can definitely become good enough at swimming to win the masters.”
Warburton’s wife on the other hand, has less belief that her husband can become the greatest golfer of all time, considering his pre-occupation with swimming.
“To be honest, I’m not sure if Mark really knows what golf is,” Alice Warburton explained. “I mentioned the fact he doesn’t have any equipment, and he retorted by saying he already owns his own goggles.
“He always get too focused on the minor details, rather than the game itself.
“The last phase Mark went through was wanting to become the next England Coach, after he won the League with Peterborough on Football Manager. He said he was gonna be the next Big Sam, then spent the next week downing pints of wine.”
Stockbroker Warburton is yet to find out that golfers are not allowed liquid lunches.
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