Topgolf has been around for 18 years now, so you can be sure that we’ve heard every excuse in the book. Here are our favourite explanations people give when they are losing.
1) “I haven’t played in a while”
Don’t believe a word of it. They’ve spent the last week practising in their garden and googling “How to beat my friends at Topgolf.”
2) “The clubs aren’t the right size”
Short clubs never made anyone spin round in a circle and fall over.
“I’ve got a bad back at the moment.” You’ve also got a bad swing, pal.
4) “Those targets are in the wrong place”
Well, if you keep slicing it…
5) “This is a bad bay for me”
6) “I’m not even trying”
This is the same person who claims they “aren’t trying” at FIFA, before leaning forward towards the screen.
7) “I taught you that”
This excuse will be said by those who spent the week researching golf tips, and then offering unsolicited advice to everyone else.
8) "The first game is just practice."
It wasn't "just practice" *before* you scored under ten points...
9) “I’ve drunk way more than you”
Being able to drink alcohol while hitting your shots is all part of the Topgolf challenge
10) “You put me off”
Much like some football fans consider diving to be a skill in itself, we consider heckling your mates while they’re swinging to be an artful part of the game.