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The Laws of Topgolf

The Laws of Topgolf

The law of the land must always be upheld – whether by police in the streets or by Topgolf in our fun-filled venues.

We don’t want to tell police how to suck eggs (or cuff hands) but our etiquette can take a little getting used to- so we’ve put together a handy guide. Follow our not-so-official code of conduct to enjoy your Hero Club experience to the max…

Take this literally or figuratively. Group celebrations make for team bonding but stealing extra turns at Topgolf means bantering off your mates – which feels much more rewarding. Plus, there’s always one in the group for whom just connecting with the ball deserves widespread ironic jubilation.

Yes, we know it could put off other players and give you an unfair advantage. That’s exactly why you should engage in heckling, cat-calling and even plain old-fashioned booing while your friends and colleagues attempt to outscore you. He who dares (to make chicken noises while someone else is trying to concentrate on their swing) wins.

We’re not referring back to the boos, animal noises and perhaps literal whistle-blowing that we went over in part 2. Rather, this rule is concerned with the squeals of delight that you’ll find escaping your lungs as you hit and your colleagues/sworn opponents miss. And if you’re concerned about any potentially embarrassing victory squawks, our background music will help drown them out. Remember, group celebrations are fun but solo ones are truly fulfilling – especially when you’re winning.

Sharing is caring and at Topgolf we provide free rentals; there’s no need to venture to Sports Direct for a set of Dunlops. Plus, this helps to put everyone on equal footing; how are you supposed to know if the Topscorer is actually better than everyone if they’re using clubs from home?

There’s also a place for those who’ve never played golf before; many of our guests are extremely casual golfers. And by “casual”, we mean “unorthodox.” And by “unorthodox” we mean “likely to miss the ball completely.” These people are to be appreciated for their inherent entertainment value through virtue of rubbishness - and the fact that they make everyone look better by comparison.

Did you really go to Topgolf if the photos aren’t on Instagram? Yes, you did, and you had an amazing time. But why not induce a little envy in those who couldn’t make it with a group photo complete with tags? They’ll be more likely to join you next time – and you can never have enough Topgolf buddies. Plus, our lighting works wonders for the jawline.

We’ve already addressed the squeals of delight you’ll emit whenever you hit a target/someone else misses and falls over. Well, emotions run high all over Topgolf - whether it’s gasps of disbelief at the frankly ludicrous size of our absurd freakshakes or the pure, unadulterated joy of being told your bay is ready and waiting. Feel free to unleash your agonies and ecstasies; Topgolf just feels better that way.

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