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Traditional golfer left appalled by Topgolf visit

Traditional golfer left appalled by Topgolf visit

A traditional golfer stormed out of Topgolf this Saturday in disgust, claiming he was “shaken to the core” by the sight of people playing golf who were not dressed in woollen pullovers and moleskin breeches.

“I’d heard Topgolf was a modern kind of venue,” amateur golfer Derek Selby told our reporter, from the safety of his local clubhouse. “But I simply wasn’t prepared for such an uncouth violation of dress code. Not only did I spot several people wearing non-tailored trousers, I even spotted a few hooligans wearing those big “backsnap” caps - indoors! I have never been so shocked in all my life.”

And it wasn’t just the hats that upset Derek.

“There were people using their mobile telephones on the bays,” he sighed. “How am I supposed to concentrate on my swing with rowdy, cap-wearing youths taking self-portraits on their mac-boxes?

“I tried to make them stop,” Selby confirmed. “But they claimed they were too busy ‘having fun’ to stop talking and laughing. Having fun and laughing? This is supposed to be a bloody golf course, not a discotheque!

“Speaking of which,” Selby continued, while sipping on an Old-Fashioned. “Around 9pm, a Disc Jockey arrived and began taking requests from guests. I must have requested Frank Sinatra at least a dozen times – but when they finally gave in and played it, everyone started booing.

“People say that I’m weird for an 18-year-old, but that’s just youngsters these days.” 


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